Codezwiz >> Forums >> The Board >> no joking matter

Here is one for all the kids lol

Mickey Mouse woke up one morning and looked out his window. To find that someone has urinated his name in the snow. Furious he called the police. After a detective performed a DNA test, he said " well Mickey, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we found out who did it. It was Goofy. The bad news is, it was in Minnies handwritting.

heres a lil humour for all you married couples

a married couple came apon a wishing well the husband leaned over made a wish and threw in a penny the wife did the same but she leaned over to far and fell into the well the husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled and said "wow it really works

hhahahaha i like the last one better

both are hilariously funny... thx... I needed that.

Here's another:

This guy took his son to the pharmacy with him and when they were going up to the counter the little boy saw the shelves with all the different condoms on it. He stopped in the middle of the aisle and called for his dad. When his dad came back he asked him what they were for and his dad told him they were for when he had a girlfriend and they wanted to have sex. so the little boy asked him why there were only a few in some packages and more in others and his father told him that the three pack is for high school, one for friday,one saturday, one for sunday the six pack is for collage, two for friday, two for saturday, and two for sunday. the one with twelve in it is for after he gets married. one for january, one for february, one for march. ect.........

i like that!!!! i like the married couple one best!! lol

Grannypants x

here's a good blonde joke:
I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she called me to get my telephone number...
She went to The Pound Shop (Everthings A Pound) And asked for a Price Check...
She spent 30 minutes looking at orange juice because it said "Concentrate"...
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept...
She tripped over a cordless phone...
She bought some M & M 's and tried to put them in alphabetical order....
of coures that was after she was fired from the M & M factory for throwing away all the W's....
SHEESH!!!! What a Foolian she was.....she died of starvation you know....yeh....she got locked into a grocery store.... lol

Grannypants x

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

Right, so there's this blonde...she is walking along...minding her own business....and she hears some little kids in a schoolyard chanting 22, 22, 22, 22.... the blonde wonders about what is going on.... she goes over, and sure enough, there is a small hole in the fence... she puts her eye to the hole to see what's going on inside, when all of a sudden- a little finger pops out of the hole and pokes her in the eye....
10 minutes later another blonde woman is walking past...she hears the kids chanting...23, 23, 23, 23.....

There was a little girl was saying her prayers in her room, her dad walked past and listened in she said god bless mommy god bless daddy god bless granny and bye bye grandad. Not knowing what this meant he when to bed and the next day the grandad died. Thinking it was a bit werid he went to the door the next night to listen again she said the same thing god bless mommy god bless daddy and bye bye grandma. Thinking nothing more of it he went to bed. The next day they found grandma died brown earth scared now he listened outside this daugthers door, she said god bless mommy and bye bye daddy. He panicked he got up next moring really early and went to the doctors to check his health. it was fine when he walked up to the front door the mother said where have you been the milkman has just dropped down dead on the doorstep......

Bill Gates Died....

When he got to the gates at heaven, St Peter put him through the "Ultimate Soul Scanner 3000" to see if he should go on to Heaven, or to bathtub.....

"Well" said St Peter..."You have made Windows XP, which never has the blue screen of death...that was very good of you...But You also made Windows ME....which was the worst OS Imaginable....I don't Know where you should go. Tell You What! I'll let you see them both first, and then let you decide where you go....ok?"

"Fine by me" said Bill....

So they went down to bathtub, and Bill saw a great beach with golden and white sands, a fairground, and food that was the tastiest you could find ANYWHERE....it seemed like the bees knees compared to earth....

Bill thought- If this is bathtub- What is HEAVEN going to be like?

They went back up to heaven and Bill saw lots of angels...they where pulling stars with ropes and moving the moon and the sun....they had a lot or responsiblity....but when they where done- All the angels had a great meal, and rested until it was time to start over again....

"I think I'll go to bathtub" said Bill.....

"OK then" said St peter, and off he went.....a few weeks later, St Peter went back down to bathtub for another visit....he saw Bill....he was on a spit- being roasted over a fire- tortured and molested by lots of hells demons...."St Peter- you showed me this three weeks ago and it was utter paradise- why is it like this now?"

"Oh!" said St-Peter-"That was the screensaver!"